i need to come over tomorrow, everyone i know is going to the river.
that sucks.
did i tell you robert left.
i’m sorry.
he’s a twisted individual.
not just anyone can handle you.
the homeless loser with a restraining order meth addict was telling me i’m not good enough and gas lighting me. he was lucky to even know me.
he’s lucky you were mad at him.
i need the money badly.
what should i wear.
sneakers and underwear. i just want for you to yell at me.
you caught me at a good time to be yelled at.

i don’t have the courage today. my mind is slow. they have condemned me even though i never confessed. i draw in other parasites, doctors,
addicts, the mentally ill, slave drivers, slaves, the illiterate. i introduce them to y so that he can play doctor and medicate them. he says that he is as crazy as they are except he knows that he is crazy and they don’t, sometimes they give him advice and play doctor.

they want someone masculine and straight, not someone awkward and effete. they come to y because they need to be medicated. he likes them when they are desperate. he can lift them from despair. they tell him what he needs to know to help them so that he can use it to motivate and to arouse fear lust and despair. when he needs to he feels them so that he knows he has a destiny. they wail and plead, they simulate suffering and worship and he feels the cold skin and reremembers the blue veins and to suck on them. this is a transaction he tells them. you have no rights. i don’t feel anything when i watch them. they are shades in a murky bowl.
y likes for me to be there in case they have an episode or have a psychotic break, at most they cry and threaten suicide. i feel disdain for them. i look away righteously but y tells me to listen. he thinks i’m a good listener. he asks me to repeat what they say. he has spotty memory. he repeats what they say when they talk to him. he thinks he has a nerve disease or a tumor.  he exploits the millenials. they are pretty and high minded. they still have an imagination .they believe in equity. he doesn’t believe in it nor in affirmative action. he thinks everyone can make it who applies himself. he has cured many losers. i have seen him hurt countless losers. i’ve never seen one get better. they keep coming back for his drugs and his empty words. i feel for them. they call him daddy and mommy. it disgusts me. he has an omniscient smile. they laugh when they see him because they fear death. i feel for myself. why can’t we get from under y? why am i his slave?

i learn how to fund raise under y, a formidable fundraiser. y introduces me to his rich white donors. y raises money for big empty ideas that get publicity. he used millenials who are ignorant of his underhanded ways.

the state controls our bodies and the psychiatrist our nerve cells.

psychiatrists are a priest class. they won’t exist in the future.

the family is obsolete, in the future children won’t need a family and citizens won’t need a government or a state.

the psychiatrist is the gatekeeper of the the bourgeoisie the elite and the state.