he saw the yellow paper. the word court stamped on it in red. they are going to
say he was the one who did it. when he wasn’t the one who was in charge. j was in charge. she didn’t tell him about what was going on. the court wants more from him.
more than he has to give them. he did nothing to them. they don’t dislike him. j was working with two men and a woman. they did something on the property. there was someone else there. a young woman. she isn’t there anymore. they can’t find her. they want to know what happened to her. he has to account for her. he asked j and the two men and the woman what they had done with her. they said they hadn’t done anything. they said they didn’t know where she was. the court said that he is responsible for where she is because she was last seen on the property grounds. what was she doing there in the first place j said. she was hired to clean the grounds and to look after the children. how many children were there? he didn’t know. he didn’t even know there were children. whose children were they? j said the woman wanted work as a nanny. she’s very pretty but her younger sister is perfect so she is humble about her looks. she’s twenty five. she talks to ghosts using a pen on a piece of paper and in sitting in a circle with her bf, who is a dj musician, and friends. she was talking to her dead mother when she vanished. they think she may have gone to see her mother. she went to see her mother, they said. where is that, he said. we don’t know, they said. where ever the mother went to there she is. she is there with her. we haven’t heard from her. we suspect she is with her. where else would she be? i don’t know, he said.
he had depressive thoughts about being in prison and dying from not having the medication he needed and having to get off them and dying from the strain of getting off the medication and not having it. he knew this nanny. she was very perceptive. he wanted to give her a name. he wasn’t a nominalist. he needed to name her nonetheless. he named her after his sister. he remembered her name from the many images she had posted on instagram. h said that they wanted to say that he was the one who took her. they said that two women he had known had vanished. he had paid another part time nanny her rent. she had helped him to traffic weapons and hadn’t said a thing to the authorities when they had detained her. she gave him weekly updates on odd jobs that she was doing and how her two year old daughter rosemary was doing. this reminded him that he had to give another nanny ten dollars for gas money using paypal. he called h to hear what was going on at the court. he said the phone line wasn’t working. he got cut off five times in two minutes. he thought that h thought that he was an obsessive and that cutting him off was the sensible thing to do. h managed to issue an order. he knew what he had to do. he had to get the part time nanny and the full time nanny to interrogate the two men and the one woman. they would get them to talk about where the young woman was. the town isn’t happy with this, h said. you are going to have to get a lawyer and it is going to get costly. he was feeling anxious his hands were looking older than usual. he paid ten dollars on square cash to rachael the part time nanny. she would be effective in helping him to waive the warrant the court had given him. he would have to find the young woman or he would vanish.
rachael suffers from insomnia. she falls asleep when she drives. she has nightmares. she doesn’t want to have sex with a man but she wants to be with a man in the same bed. she thinks she exists as a social emotional financial thing as long as she posts her thoughts on twitter and facebook. she has a hard time containing her mental illness and taking care of the children and answering to the adults. she atones for her shortcomings on yom kippur:

make new baby. i make new one for you and your family. this family it looks like so.
what does it look like? it looks like so. so for you and your family. there is one family and there is another and another and another, millions under the one family. they have eyes nose and teeth. many teeth to go around and blood types. i’m a nanny and i carry the baby. if you change your mind. have you seen what it looks like? they can tell us what it will look like in twenty years. the baby wasn’t breathing. it was bleeding. i saved it. it was left by someone not by me not by its mother.i t stopped bleeding when i discovered it. i held it. it stopped bleeding. i have written about it. i have presented it in a powerpoint presentation. it became a woman. she was with someone they didn’t know. where did she go? she went to see her mother. the court said we need a body. we need to account for her. if we don’t have a body she doesn’t exist. we can’t account for her. she is with her mother. i see images of her with a woman who looks like her. they are twins. they feel the same feelings. they have the same thoughts. they are happy. she was a baby. i made her for them so that they could have a family. her mother died. she left her too soon. she went to look for her mother. the court sent a warrant to arrest me. i had nothing to do with her disappearance. they found her body. they said she went to see her mother. the court said we have her body.  she is with her mother. she never had a child. she was someone’s child. i’m in my thirties. i’m still working as a nanny. i have written four novels. they are fiction. there is nothing that is not made up. i sold m 15 rifles in new mexico to farmers.