jacob left for good. should i text him? he didn’t text me about leaving. he probably can’t be bothered with me. he seems to tire of himself and people.
this man. who is he? he looks like a rifle. he’s reading a book. i’m the only one allowed to read the codes. no one else has been given the green light to read them. i’m the reader and the author because i’m the reader. he isn’t the one who writes about us. he’s an idiot for only reading fiction. he simply reads fiction and eats. he consumes. i read the information. i make sense of it. i read the patterns. i decode it. i see the anomalies. jacob left and now there is another one. he has been replaced by a short young woman who has a girlfriend. she has a laughter. it is elastic and suspenseful. the rifle is facing me and eating. i want to kill him because he is facing me and i have to hear the mucus in his mouth. i take him to the other room. he doesn’t even have the decency to have unzipped his blue jacket. i smash his teeth with my small metal box i use to save my memory. i offer him employment. i have a domain. he blows his nose. he continues eating and leaves when he is done. he is the fourth person to have left after having sealed himself. my power and self belief is waning. i can’t reach y by phone. his assistant has been in contact with him. it is how they like to punish me, they don’t allow  me to reach him when he has been sedated not to harm himself. i always try to get a word in before they reduce him to a helpless state. he never remembers it after he wakes from his slumber. he broke the last assistants neck before they could hold him down. they decided not to tell him about it. he has been asking about her. they had an understanding about ohio. he had been raped by a mormon there when he was a child. her father was a mormon but left when he wanted to be a woman. he wanted to meet her father who left the mormons to be a woman in a small west coast city.
i peeled my skin. i told amanda i’m an alien and a communist from a red planet and she said she doesn’t care to hear about it.
this young woman with red hair never says anything to me even though she looks exalted when i see her. i don’t think she is with her bf. i never see him.
amanda hasn’t texted me. i texted her last night.
this middle aged woman has white hair and yellow skin. she is with a white man. they have a daughter. the white man is handsome and durable.
i think amanda has been faking her orgasms. she doesn’t believe me when i tell her that i’m a woman and that i gave birth to a daughter who is a communist in the midwest and burned her passport. she didn’t get the response she wanted yesterday so she is ignoring me. we need another lapse to separate or not to separate. she’ll say how much she has done for me and call me a liar. she’ll talk about her raise to prove her potency. she doesn’t want to accept that i’m an alien. now that i was introduced to her ex husband and he was blinded by the blue light under my skin i think i have outlasted my usefulness. i’m dying on this planet. i need to get to my red planet where i can re-boot my orifice.