he has hold of a white garbage can that matches his white t-shirt and the red wool hat. he gives her an ice coffee. they talk about something i can’t overhear. she has arid breasts. he finishes talking to one woman and then he talks to another. he is the bee and they have the honey. he has his arms crossed. she moves her hand. my mind is slow. the skinny young man leaves with his pretty girlfriend. he has a spectacular head space.
why not go to the screen for more warmth? how can she not become more like them? she is an asexual transgender maoist. i don’t know what i will be tomorrow. she spends fourteen hours every day in forest park. she sees them walking. she follows the one in a green coat and green hair. she/they grabs her screen. she/they pushed on an app. she/they menstruates. she/they looks for upper middle class women who work for b corporations and non profits. she/they thinks they make the rich richer and the poor poorer. she/they looks at two screens. the workers for charity say don’t hurt me and she hurts them. she tells them to sell overseas without paying taxes. they don’t want to embezzle. she asks for the family coffers. she’s not sure they have family money. she thinks they have the password. she tortures them with guilt until they say the family password. she promises them a future. she berates the man and makes the woman watch. she looks at her screen. she looks at the woman with green hair’s screen. she has two apps. the woman with green hair is unemployed. she has a primary partner who is asexual. she has her clients for sex. sometimes she has sex with someone she gets to know. she goes. she has an accountant who neglects her. she doesn’t like to talk about it. she talked to one woman about it and she hurt her feelings. she doesn’t talk to her anymore. no one believes her when she tells them there is an arsonist rapist communist in city park. they tell her to talk to a professional. get professional help they say. they say the professional is happy to talk to her. she hears his voice in her head. she uses a mental health app when she doesn’t have the money to pay him. she avoids him when she can but sometimes the need to kill herself is so powerful because nature calls her to be a slave. she goes in to talk to the specialist. he knows how to torment her so that she gets used to the torment. she sleeps for weeks after having talked to the specialist who knows how to talk to her about the things that hurt her without naming them. she wakes up in city park. she is scared of naming the things that hurt her. she thinks the things will hurt her more if he does name them. she thinks the things will hurt her if she doesn’t name them. she has other names for them. the specialist knows her system. he seems to circumscribe the city park and mount hood. she has seen precise men give up on mount hood in the freezing cold. the willamette river draws the healthy and the suicide alike. she can’t think anymore for herself. she can only think what the app thinks. she thinks the app is responsible for the deaths in city park.