j had a nasal tumor and a toothache. now, i’m the one with the toothache. if i bite down on lettuce i get light headed from the dull pain. i took 4 advil. i’ll take another three in five hours. j has purple rings under his eyes. sometimes, he looks tormented. for the most part he looks at peace.
s is in her late twenties. the more money i give her the more attention she will give me. she’s good looking but far from perfection.
what are you doing?
watching vanderpump rules.
do you watch on your iphone?
that’s scheana, s said. i like that they have pretty people problems.
she’s eddie cibrian’s ex mistress, before he married leann rimes.
i like the hot guys and the outfits. they don’t play each other. they
argue over stupid shit. they are servers at a restaurant.
like yourself at the country club.
i have thoughts i want to share with her. i want to make sense of us.
i like to think i can find meaning in a superficial setting. i doubt she has a bf. i think she says she does to give losers like myself hope.
i’m pissed at my stupid phone. im watching american dad.
i’m not voting this year. i think hillary sold her soul.
of course. that’s why she can beat trump.
i can’t believe trump has supporters. yeah it’s like voting for the taliban.
my phone is acting up. i think it’s because i haven’t updated.
what i want from out of life is not what others want
and what is that, exactly?
i don’t know, i said.
you don’t know what you want out of life,?
no schedules and itinerary, i said.
you want no life without schedules? s said. i’m confused.
i don’t want to live someone else’s life
me either, v said. i like my life.
at least one of us knows what they are doing.
my last girl friend was mean. i liked it. you’re much nicer than she is.
she’s only meaner because you thought you had a chance with her.
do you have hearts in your eyes for me, v said.
you keep weird hours, v said.
i’m reading two very short novels by dodie bellamy. i especially like the one about a cult. it’s about reincarnation, coming back as a bag lady or as a master and living on an astral plane.
what made you pick that one,
i like how she writes.
what does she usually write about.
shop lifting, sex and violence, i said.
sounds macho, s said. like a Michael bay film.
i think she would like that comparison, i said.
meghan fox messed up her face,
with botox and fillers.
everything closes at nine in portland.
filters would cost me five to six hundred dollars.
what did you eat today.
a couple of bic macs. some cookies. cereal, bbq chicken. i would have had bagels but i’m out of cream cheese.
what kind of cereal?
french toast crunch. i take big bites. i shove it all in there.
i want a video of you eating cereal. it should be big bites and five minutes long so
you have to have a second helping.
i have a really bad tooth ache.
you can do a block anesthesia with a q tip and some orajel, s said.
it will numb the bottom of your mouth. i was a dental assistant. most abscesses are caused by improper flossing. it helps with swelling. you can also use glyoxide on the gum area. to do a block anesthesia you will need extra strength orajel and a qtip. put
orajel on the gtip. place the qtip there and leave it. then close your mouth for a minute to let it soak. then remove it. it numbs half your mouth. if you live with me i’ll give you a good allowance.
why did you quit dental school?, i said.
i didn’t quit dental school, s said. i finished. i just don’t use my license.
that’s too bad. all that studying for nothing. what are your thoughts about sex work? are you a therapist, in a way?
i guess i am. i listen to a lot of problems. i’m not ashamed to be a sex worker.the dentist i worked for was a cunt faced bitch. this dentist was a butch looking bitch that
walked like a man. she was a bitch and i was a lady. she had a problem keeping staff. she talked down to her staff and i’m not used to that.