Untitled(the grants have to be written by brandy to make the non profit legitimate and to pay for the staff.)Uncategorized
brandy has a short nose. she spends her day going from meeting to meeting.
sometimes there is a voice in her head that talks about cleaning products and cancer. other times there is nothing and she gets tired. she feels weak from low blood sugar. she wants to love someone like herself.
i dream a white sky and a sea side golf course. a white french man with my father’s long dutch nose is masturbating and shooting children with a rifle to see how they bleed to death. i feel the blood bang in my heart chamber. in my orange t-shirt pocket a money tree leaf reminds me of my eleven year old daughter.
i was thinking about the word galactic the sex worker shared with me and my father, the creepy rageaholic obsessive academic.
your thinking is so warped, brandy said.
yeah, i said.
the head of the non profit’s beach house is behind the grass dunes.
we weren’t able to see it from the beach. the white haired magical self absorbed man makes things happen in a big way. he is useless when it comes to the mechanics of managing a non profit. it is all about selling a big bold idea. he can influence folk with deep pockets and big egos.
the grants have to be written by brandy to make the non profit legitimate and to pay for the staff. he doesn’t want to here about her mundane proposal writing or an article she published about food systems in the harvard review. he wants to complain how no one is coming to the leader staff meetings.
brandy doesn’t want to drink red wine. she thinks i cant ejaculate when i drink. i can’t converse or believe if i don’t drink. i’m not as bitter as i was. i think death takes care of everything.
brandy feels pity for edward. he texts her. she responds to them. she wants to help him. he’s fucked up. i didn’t want to know what he or she said. i think what they are doing is inappropriate. i can tell you about it if you want, brandy said. do you really want to hear about it. i’ll tell you whatever you want to know.
brandy increased my panic and interest when she blocked me on social media.
i told ed about you, brandy said.
not everyone knows about me but they know there is someone in brandy’s life.
brandy fears that i will go back to my ex-wife if she takes me back. i think this is true but not because i miss my wife. i miss my family. anyhow, my wife would never take me back. she is seeing someone else. i can tell from her eyes that sparkle. in another six months i will have more time with my daughter and i will feel coherent.