I pretend I’m not there to meet Sabrina. She has black nicotine teeth.
Have you read the ethical slut, Sabrina said.
I think all women have the right to be lazy, I said.
Sabrina felt that when she finished one relationship she found herself in another
one. She wanted to be with many people at one time. She wanted to talk
to someone about how she was attracted to someone else even when she was with
them. The ethical slut awakened her to breaking the pattern of getting stuck in one relationship.
I wanted to feel Sabrina’s thighs and knees. I didn’t want to manage with her nicotine mouth. She had been very beautiful when she was in her thirties. Now in her forties she looked tired. She talked about wanting to die before old age. She still has a well placed small nose. I didn’t care for the hat she wore that covered her brown hair; I did care for how she moved it from her head and pulled it back down.
Sabrina said that she is lost in life. I wanted her to talk about her lostness or even better I wanted to get lost with her, but she wasn’t interested. She doesn’t know her lostness has value.
Sabrina worked at Breitenbush. The group she worked with seduced guests they had a crush on. They worried about stds. I still remember a young woman’s, at the Breitenbush cross bridge, black red vagina, her green eyes and her black shoulder length hair.
Sabrina wants to share love with as many as she is attracted to. She thinks it will
flourish that way. She is talking about sexual love. There are many kinds of love as Dante has said.
There is the kind that is loyal like that of a caretaker who sees to a loved one’s death vigil.
Don’t ask Sabrina questions. She will answer them and hate you for it afterwards.
I had a government job, Sabrina said. It was well paying.
Sabrina does electrolysis. She zaps women’s mustaches and beards all day.
You don’t have to be nice to old people, Sabrina said. They may have been assholes. You don’t know what they did.
I look for the person, I said. I don’t care if someone is republican or democrat.
I don’t care if someone is republican or democrat, said Sabrina. We’re just having a drink. We can have a drink. It is harmless.
I can’t even get my dick hard when I want. And when I get hard I don’t necessarily want it in the woman. I come over her belly breasts, face, in her hands, on myself and the bed.I have been pissing semen. I’ve been ejaculating with a soft penis. I present to you the reader the first of its kind the pre cum dripping tumescent penis peeing semen, adderol, effexor, valium and herbal tea. When a woman strokes my belly and ear urine and semen flow down my thighs and scrotum. I wanted to tell dissipated Sabrina about my disposition. I thought that we would revive our life force. We would go to her 200 hundred dollar a month condo. She would talk ecology and utopian fascistic yippie dreams and I would lick her nicotine brown mustache.
The energy doesn’t feel right, said Sabrina.