I think Alex would be interested in the movie. It reminds me of her. It’s about a dude with a shit job who listens to metal doom and tells everyone he will kill them. I should get the title so I can tell her or someone else about it and not confuse them. I look bad when I don’t know the title. I’m all over the place and draw blanks when I talk about a movie.
I have a message. My cell is blinking slowly. I left a message:The condor can lift the whale. I need magic, not medication, in my life. The so called primitive cultures
I know I won’t see Sue at Laurel thirst, but I thought about it.
My pretty lawyer called me. She has gaps in her front teeth. She has a wide muscular American super hero jaw.
I forgot her name. I still can’t remember it. I didn’t know the title of the film I said she should go see. I didn’t know how to pronounce the last name of the Russian author
I have been reading. I was able to tell her the guard/author forces an inmate to apply himself and that the astonished inmate chops his left hand off with an ax not to work. I feel the same way. Working for someone else is indecent.
She, whose name I think starts with an H, cleans houses for a living. Her short
nails were dirty. She didn’t open her mouth when we kissed. I think she was the one who said we should wrestle. I put her in a head lock. I lowered her down on the sheet less mattress. I pulled at her shoulders. She was breathing heavily.
She, whose name I think is Heather but it could be Hortense, has been using her
sister’s glasses because they somewhat have the same prescription. It troubled me that
she would fuck up her eyes because she was too poor and lazy to get a proper
pair of glasses. It was the same stupidity that had her remove everything from her teenage daughter’s room when she gave her the finger and stayed away for three days.
Jay asked Celeste her age, where she lives, what she likes to do, and what her work is. They talked about their Sunday. Celeste had a good one. Jay had a miserable one. He didn’t even post a pic of a waterfall on facebook like he had intended when he wasn’t able to locate his client he had waited over an hour for in his taxi.
Jay has a best friend from college he never sees. They text. Jay is texting compulsively. He texts while he drives.
Jay fucked Alex in his taxi. He bought weed from her. He was her best and only customer. He quit buying weed from her when she didn’t want to sleep with him. Jay uses women and men for sex.
Jay likes women in their early twenties. They don’t like him, but he uses it to his advantage. They don’t grasp how he wheedles them. He talks to them in a calm way. They find themselves strangely
soothed by his calmness. He gets erect. They are mildly offended and
then are curious.
Jay wants to get a house. He has been thinking about having someone live in it with him. He has been living on Sandy for two years
in a shitty apartment. Jay’s mommy, his dear old incorrigible mother and other members of his disparate family got some money, but the housing market was not good when the economy was shot and he never looked into getting a house.
Jay has been lonely in his apartment. It is too small. The faucet in the tub has been leaking. The dripping water drives him up the wall when he pays attention to it. Mostly, he has been able to block it out by thinking about bus lines. He does the same with the noisome thoughts in his head. Jay hopes he will be less bored and lonely in a house that is not too large. In his heart of hearts he fears he won’t elude the loneliness no matter what the size of the house. At least he will have something to pursue for awhile. He can always sell the house and move back into an apartment.
Jay has had success with apartment living. He subdued many men and women in the confines of a one bedroom apartment. I’ll fuck anything that moves Jay thinks to himself. Jay can get erect in his late forties when most of his friends in their fifties have an issue with erections.
I want to live on a farm, said Celeste. Then I can come into the city to teach yoga and go back to my farm. I want peace and quiet. My window faces Hawthorne. The street noise is too loud.
Yeah, said Jay. My family owns three acres. It’s nice and peaceful. My mom lives on it. We want to move her into a smaller home. That reminds me I have to get my record collection out of her basement.
Jay has been taking Celeste’s Yoga class. Celeste has a long supple body. Jay likes it that her face has acne scars. He would be intimidated by her if she didn’t have them.
He didn’t seem mentally disabled but he was wearing sunglasses,said Jay. It looked creepy when he took off his glasses. Doesn’t the guy who brings them in teach them etiquette. He should.
They truly are disabled said Celeste. They can barely sign in. It’s sweet but distracting.
Celeste and Jay talk mattresses.
They have mattresses made in the North West, Jay said. I thought I wanted something firm. I want to sink into it like a cloud.
Is that the one you got, said Celeste.
No I got the firm one, Jay said.
I don’t sleep, said Jay. The first night was awful. It’s important for my ass to have a soft mattress. I stayed at a plush hotel in San Diego. I sank into the mattress. I was testing them out. I didn’t think. I didn’t want the firm one. I got the memory foam pillows. They are in the hood. They give free delivery. I should get a bed frame.
Cool, Celeste said.
They have mauve sheets, said Jay. They are half off. Everywhere else sheets are over a hundred dollars.
I really like soft mattresses, Celeste said. They gave my bed away.
I got an upgrade, Jay said. Some of the nice mattresses are over a thousand dollars.
I bet, Celeste said.