I met a group, not dissimilar from the one I had begun to lead, of men and women. They walked in a circle. They exchanged thoughts about disease. The land was healthy but many were dying. There was a Doc in the group who gave prescriptions for free. He had been in prison for it. He couldn’t not help the members of the group, some of whom were children. He didn’t want anyone to suffer. Many were poor. I thought Janet had sent him to glean information.
It took three hours to reach a tree that was only three feet from where I stood.
I’ ve gone too far to turn back out now I thought. It would another three hours to reach the second brown tree and another half day to make it to the road. I had a few crackers.
I felt sleepy. I decided to ly down. My head felt heavy. I didn’t want to think of the country as a collection of trees and roads with dead ends. I didn’t want to think of it as a desert. I thought of it as a waterway adumbrated by bridges. I didn’t know where I was. It would take awhile before I would know.
I still hadn’t made it to the second brown tree. A woman with formidable breast and a haggard face gave me a cigarette. I hadn’t had one for a long time. It felt good. It reminded me of the city I lived in that had been overexposed and was completely white. I was encouraged in this dry flat place. I asked the woman’s name. She said her name was Cherry. I asked her for coffee. She said that she hadn’t coffee. I was alarmed. I was sure to have a bad headache without it. I didn’t want to think about Janet. I missed her
even though she wanted me dead. I was used to people not liking me. I told Cherry about Janet. I started all of my relationships by talking about who I was serious with. Cherry was happy that we had been separated. I longed to chew on Cherry’s
breasts and chin. She screamed when I placed my head on her shoulder. I wanted to know what I should do. I have suicidal thoughts I said. If I didn’t have Janet I would take my life but now I don’t have her.
I was convinced that Cherry would pity me and accept me. After all I didn’t do anything to Janet that any other man in love with a woman would have done.
You should kill yourself Cherry said.
I was discouraged when I reached the fourth brown tree.
A mob of men and women simulated scenes from the war between Texas and North Dakota. Ten men were left beheaded on the battle field.
I lived in L.A. before North Dakota and Texas were at war.