b drops her price to eighty dollars. it was 100 which was cheap. the cheaper b sells herself the more i think i can do whatever i want to her.
b is selling her body to get an operation. she has very high blood pressure. she  has to get it under control before she can have the operation. i don’t think she needs one. she feels she doesn’t want to live without one. i thought i liked her because i gave her money. now i don’t know anymore. i give her more than she wants. for the most part i  exhaust himself and lie on her.
a travels for work. she raises money that she doesn’t see right away. she never knows for sure how her patrons will respond. some are more generous than others, some have a weakness for the forest, and others want to help the homeless grow food.
i want to think only about a. she saw me for an hour i loved her as much if not more after i saw her. she revealed her itinerary, neck and right ear.

the dentist won’t remove two molars. my blood pressure is too high.
he gave me penicillin to take care of the infection. i finished it. if the pain returns
i’m going to bite the bullet and have the dentist sedate me so that he will pull the molars.
the dentist doesn’t think i will make it to 46 if i don’t get my bp under control.

i think i would know when im going to get a heart attack. i’ve had high bp for a long time

i have a distended belly. my face is two inches wider than it should be. i have large black rimmed glasses. i wear an orange hunting cap to hide my shame and thinning hair.

i walk very very slowly with my high bp. i get dizzy and i have a hard time breathing. i feel pressure in my chest. my left molar hurts but it is manageable with three ibuprofin. i have a stronger pain killer. i don’t want to use them unless the pain is unmanageable. a  blank thing blocks my vision. i can’t see my hands at times.

i made salmon and chard.

the obese make me nervous. they look like stroke victims

the demure red beard has on a red plaid shirt and black jeans. he writes down his thoughts in a small black notebook. he reads a book and pulls at his red beard.
he is always working. this is the first that i’ve seen him at leisure.

the left molar is giving me the high bp. they won’t pull it until my bp is lower.

a woman in a denim shirt and black pants and knee high boots walks up to red beard. i’ve never seen him with anyone socially. she looks like she’s in her early thirties,
most likely the same age as red beard. she has an ice tea. she reads her iphone. he reads his iphone. i can’t hear what they are saying. she asked him a question. i hope i can’t hear what they say, then i won’t have to record it. i like those shoes, she said. i found them for 40 bucks. they have holes. he’s substantive. when he has something to say he says it. when he doesn’t have anything to say she redirects the conversation with a question.                                                          red beard has lucid blue eyes

the red head, in his twenties, looks like the actor seymour hoffman who died from  heroin. he has a shit eating grin and a nice looking girlfriend.

i walk into zoom care to see if i can get beta blockers. a young chinese woman
with thick black eyeliner and an hyper alert gaze took my photo id, debit, and providence insurance card. she said i have to make an appointment.
we have a 2:45 appointment here with hannah, she said.
ok, i said.
oh we don’t have one, she said. someone booked it on line. i can make an appointment on hawthorne for 215.
you have a zoom care on hawthorne?
yes and 33rd.
do you think i can make it there in fifteen minutes? i’m on foot.
yeah sure.
do you want it?
i have another appointment here with cauleen at 445.
you think i can make it to hawthorne?
it became very clear that i would never make it to hawthorne in time.
i    ’m far slower than she and i thought. my bp would have been so high that they would have sent me to the hospital and i would have vanished.

a woman in a green dress and reddish brown hair waits for her veggie drink. she has perfect white skin.
a woman in a yellow skirt and greenish blond hair reads her iphone at a round marble table.

a very attractive woman in a white dress and high heel shoes talks to an african immigrant pregnant woman. i delivered 15 babies in the sudan, she said. my role in the community was something else. the african woman doesn’t say as much as the  attractive woman. who wouldn’t be suspicious of someone as beautiful and as young as herself?

get away from me, a woman said.
my molar, i said. it hurts. i can’t take it.
did someone call 911, a man said.
get away you freak, a woman said.
they won’t take it out, i said.
he’s mentally ill, the officer 1 said
yeah said, officer 2.
we’ve been trained for this, officer 1 said.
yeah, officer 2 said.
both officers have on blue gloves.