alexis wants to meet me for coffee. she spent the two hundred dollars i gave her two days ago. she wants more. i’m thinking i can give her an errand. i have things i have to mail. she could do it.
she said she was on her way twenty minutes ago.
she wants money from me. she doesn’t want to do anything for it, much less to be punctual.
here she is.
alexis is wearing black sneakers and black panty hose. she has her hair in braids. she doesn’t look like how she looked two years ago. she is skinny and her eyes are defeated.
the october portland sky is leaden. it is raining.
i get bored and lonely and then it is lovely to see alexis.
amanda wasn’t happy to hear about her. i don’t blame her. i can be a dick as she said.
alexis takes her time to prepare her coffee.
she gets her clothes at goodwill. her winter coat cost a dollar.
i don’t know how i spent the money you gave me, alexis said.  i’m waiting for the food stamps to come in.
alexis has to get flea soap for the dogs.
alexis drives without car insurance.
alexis doesn’t like to watch t.v. by herself. she likes to look at a youtube video.
alexis used to watch t.v. with her mom.
i have mold sickness, alexis said. i have adrenal fatigue. i need to go to whole foods to get special pills that have spleen tissue from animals.
alexis has brown eyes. i hope that she’s ugly when she’s in her thirties. i want to choke her with her braids. she’s not even that good looking. i have been with women better looking than her. she behaves like every man wants to fuck her. the truth is every man wants to fuck her and every other woman he sees. i have the feeling no one would even care if someone killed her. she alienates everyone and uses everyone.
i need to turn in my food stamp application, alexis said. yesterday i got my house cleaned. i had to take two naps and then i had to start cleaning.
maybe you’re depressed, i said.
no it’s not, alexis said.i have been more depressed than this. before i was laying in bed for eight months. i am depressed. me and lenny broke up. i sent him fucked up texts. the universe wants me to be isolated right now. brian james connor left. i need to make new friends. you’re my one friend.
yeah, i said.
girls give me the stink eye. i burn all bridges. i don’t want anyone in my facebook circle. i hate or love people because i’m a scorpio. i went to the dollar store.
she gives me a list of what she got at the dollar store.
you can have this soap, alexis said.
that’s nice, i said.
here i’ll take it, alexis said. you don’t have a purse.
they wanted to put me on acutane when i was 14, alexis said.
when was the last time you had blood work done, i said.
i’m a psychic and i’m a shaman, alexis said. i can look it up on line and treat myself. you should eat rice cakes with butter. we should go grocery shopping together. do you need groceries?
no, i said. not now.
i want to give alexis money so she goes away. i think about another woman i gave rent money to and i don’t want to give alexis money anymore.
when i lived in san bernadino mean black girls were trying to start shit, alexis said. i was afraid. i don’t mind being with people who are sad and depressed
have you ever thought of going to a job center, i said.
no i don’t have to do that shit, alexis said. i’m psychic.
if it was a movie i could strip, alexis said. i have this intensity. i would get kidnapped or raped if i was a stripper. i don’t need to be a stripper i’m going to be world famous and i’m psychic. i’m starting a cult. i was a high priestess in my last life. i was hung in another life in salem and germany. i’m going to unlock my powers. i’m a head witch another reason why i don’t feel bad about taking your money is because i’m going to make you famous. i can go to powell and wait for food stamps.
you should do that, i said.
i don’t have money for laundry, alexis said. i can’t  do my laundry at your place.
alexis thought i was going to give her money until she got a job.
you can think of me as your daughter, alexis said.
i can’t tell if alexis is taking drugs or not. how did she spend two hundred dollars in two days? she can’t account for what she did with the money.
no one believes me, alexis said. no one believes that i’m psychic.
i believe you, i said.
you think i’m a drug addict, alexis said.
they tell me to go to the soup kitchen, alexis said. i can’t eat the food there. it will make me  sick.
no, i said. i don’t understand how you spent two hundred dollars.
alexis knows that she’s attractive even when she looks wan.
alexis gets a man to like her, which isn’t hard for her to do, and then when she doesn’t get what she wants or they want something from her she drops them.
my friend james says that i use him for money, alexis said.
yeah, i said.
i thought you were different, alexis said. you’re all the same. you all want to use me.
i’m worried about you, i said.
i put the twenty dollars in her coat pocket. she gave it back to me.
i’m not taking your money, alexis said.
alexis has more pride than a person who isn’t mentally ill. she lies to herself like myself.
i am taking your money, alexis said. she grabbed the twenty dollars from my hand.
i care about you, i said. when you have no money for food come to me. i’ll give you another twenty.