i eavesdrop. i only get so much. it has been awhile since i have
overheard two women talking. i have to train my ear. what i record is all at face value. i want to be a machine. the thoughts and feelings that confuse me i don’t want to analyze or interpret not at this time or not forever.
the woman who gave me a coffee also works at voodoo donuts.
she can’t converse with me unless she has someone to defer to. she looks to her peer before she answers my question. it’s colder now than it was three weeks ago. her tattoos are covered by layers of clothing. i liked reading her tattoos like a book. there were so many. i think she looks better in shirts and sweaters. she seems at ease with two jobs.
21 thousand a year, woman 1 said. i can’t live off that. paid work.
we have a team that does that, woman 2 said.
12 dollars an hour, woman 1 said.
i had work for 7.25 ten years ago at target. i had to take a drug test to get the poor paying job. i haven’t seen what the two women look like. i can only guess by their
voices. i have the feeling woman 2 is obese, her breathing is labored. woman 1 i have no idea what she looks like for the moment.
how is your counselor, woman 1 said.
she doesn’t have boundaries, woman 2 said.
no one is going to work for so little, woman 1 said. it’s disgusting.
she judges people around her everyone wrongs her, woman 1 said.
i was cleaning my plates and sink with ajax. i thought about how good it would feel to mindlessly clean houses, toilets, sinks, and mirrors.
they weren’t able to replace my fan for the heater. they are coming back monday at nine in the morning. they are going to check in with the manager. she didn’t inform the worker that the fan wasn’t working. she has a wide tumescent mouth. i look to see if she has the light on before i contact her. she has it on some of the time. the tenants have the lights on at night. they play with their dogs on the grass area and don’t always clean up after them when they defecate.
last night a very attractive young woman in tight work out pants played with her handsome dog. i chose a lane that was the furthest from her to get to the laundry under one of the apartments near highway 84. i don’t think she was able to see my consternation when i didn’t stop for the dog that wanted to include me in its play.
i wasn’t able to open the door to the laundry room. i thought i heard someone inside but no one came to open it.
the manager has her window a quarter way open day and night. i think she pretended not to be there when i wanted to know why they had put a lock on my door that i later learned was a box with a key to my place the worker could use in case i wasn’t there.
when i was cleaning the forks and knifes i opened the blind and saw
a large opaque green and yellow tree and the dilatory blue sky
a demure lesbian with the same black glasses that i wear has a window that faces mine. when i greet her she cracks a smile.
the managers face looks like a calzone.
the president of the apartments told her that she has a free spirit.
he has been known to ly on the manager in her living room. i can take it the manager says when he does. i can take it. trust me. i can take it. lay it on me. let yourself go.
the president who likes to worry clenched his face and held his breath.
what the fuck is it, woman 1 said.
my ankle is all inflamed, woman 2 said. i’ve been in pain all night long.
woman 2 slurs her words like an addict wanna be musician.
i lost weight, woman 2 said.
i can tell you lost weight, woman 1 said.
woman 1 has a brown leather jacket that is the same color as her face.
i’m sure she loves him, woman 1 said.
her stepson, woman 2 said.
how old is he, woman 1 said.
he’s a good kid, woman 2 said.
the earnest worker had stalwart boots blue jeans and a blue work shirt.
when he looked at me i saw that he wasn’t looking at me directly. it was only later that i was able to locate his gaze that fell short.
the worker had a beard thicker than mine but the same length.
he lay down when he opened the heater. i was on my brown couch that has a pencil sharpener, pens, erasers, change, sharpies, and paints in its cushions. now and then he turned his head all the way around to tell me something about what he was doing. i thought he was a nice man and i was happy that he was making progress with the heater. i made a cup of earl grey black black tea.
billy was really rude in front of my clients, woman 2 said. she was rude in front of my boss. she wanted the payment right now. she put me in my place.
that doesn’t surprise me, woman 1 said.
i called her, woman 2 said. i needed her to know what goes on when she’s not around.
the middle aged woman’s dead body was removed. they keep the light on in the apartment day and night.