It was another droll overcast Portland day.
I told her to stop drinking or she would die, the young woman said. She’s never been to a day job.She hates herself. She’s jealous. She doesn’t leave the house.
The young man rolled up his sleeve.
He was terribly handsome. He voice was phlegmatic and nasal. His working class demureness said nothing would happen to him that wouldn’t happen to anyone else.
She talked when he talked. For the moment she didn’t listen. She was grooming him. She agreed with him and continued talking.
She gave me his number to call, she said.
Sweet, he said.
Yeah, she said.
I know of two places where they rent under 600, he said.
He was who he was. I never was who I was and felt guilty about it when I was with someone I liked. I never knew how I was going to be ten hours from now.
Me and my dad get along better, daddy’s girl said. I hate couch surfing.
The young dude looked dumb and mute, macho, in the light.
He mumbled: yeah yeah bizarre. She had on garish makeup.
Getting a job or going to school is going in the right direction, he said. I see that.
She had no motivation, he said. She was living in my car. I knew the shift manager. You got to learn things. She was getting stomach aches. I got her a job. They keep the hispanics in the back. She had alcohol related diseases. Her eyes were yellow when she was on her meds. She was doing well.
He was subdued. He had a flat bony face. He was from generations of disease and poverty.
The droll young woman became inaudible. I struggled to hear what she had to say.
What is your server, she said.
At and t, he said.
I have Verizon, she said. They are good.
After the rain mine didn’t work anymore, he said.
What was this non thought?
Amy and I talked about our partners. I sucked on her cheek and nose. I used my fingers. My penis was shy. I thought I would only make her climax with my fingers and mouth. It made me cheerful. Anything unorthodox made me markedly hopeful. I wanted for Amy and I to live happily ever after in Hawaii with The Pacific Ocean and Captain Cook.
We weren’t into one another, said Amy. He wasn’t into me. I decided it would be over. He didn’t give me affection. He whacked me, but he didn’t want to give me affection. He was sad when I broke it off. We watched a porn movie. An Amish man punished a young woman for neglecting her chores. I should have know then. I don’t know why I tell you this.
Tell me, I said.
You have big balls,Amy said. I’m not worried about you not getting hard. A man can get hard and it doesn’t mean he’s into you. How can you see my eyes in the dark?
You were right about my friend not caring about me having a new bf. She’s got a lot of shit going on.
Amy had high level meetings. We had learnings, she said.
Amy referred to herself as a feminist for hire.
Im a propagandist, Amy said.
Amy was a feminist who wanted to be dominated sexually.
I like it when you pull my hair, Amy said.
I like to pull your hair, I said.
You’re a strong man, Amy said. She wanted me to be in charge sexually and peripheral.
I played and smacked her breasts and her ass while she had my limp penis in her mouth.
We are left by our ex’s to be used and to use and to not respond.