amanda has been reading my writing. i have been writing about her.
i love that you write, amanda said.
i had four tall glasses of beer.
amanda wanted to give me pleasure. she slid her vagina on my thigh. she choked me lightly and moaned. i fed on her breast.
is love finite, she said.
i need to love and you need to love me, i said.
what does that mean, amanda said.
it means i need to love someone, i said.
i like people who think, amanda said.
don’t people think, i said.
they plot, amanda said.
isn’t that thinking, amanda said.
people usually don’t like that i think. they don’t see the point. it doesn’t make money. if it doesn’t make money it is not good for you. it leads to nothing. i like nothing. a poet said truth is nothing. a week when nothing happens is a good week.
a he/she served us hamachi at a japanese restaurant. they had blue eyes and perky small breasts.
two japanese men. they are wide and thick. they eat two meat pies each. they talk in japanese. i don’t understand a word. i like them.
why are you looking at the screen. men and women were screaming at tall black men bouncing a ball from one end to the other end of the court. i snapped at amanda and then i was shy.
the red head. she was playing with her hair yesterday. i think she was signaling me. you can sit the other way so you don’t have to see her, amanda said. the redhead is wearing the same nike sneakers and loose fitting sports wear. she thinks everything is the meetings amanda are about chemistry. some people don’t mix well. i think teams should have a difficult person like myself in them. the group should be obstructed on occasion. it shouldn’t be fluent. amanda disagrees and doesn’t take me seriously. i don’t think i should be taken too seriously in this instance but i think something is to be said for a dysfunctional dynamic.
i think hoarding money in offshore accounts is a symptom. they fear nature. they fear lentils and crops that look like brush.
i walked from killingsworth down 33rd to burnside. it took me forty five minutes. i masturbated to amanda choking and kissing me because i wasn’t able to ejaculate when amanda was choking and kissing me.
i slept an hour and a half. i left amanda’s front door unlocked.
she sent me a text telling me to use the back door. my phone was down so i didn’t receive it until i recharged it. it can be costly not to recharge the phone.
amanda told me about her summer jobs in greece and indiana and a big band on t.v. i hadn’t heard of because i was still living in holland.
amanda reminds me of other women. i remind her of no one.