who is the bearded man? i felt someone looking my way. she is very beautiful, white, long hair, bangs, and a large blank mouth. his face is as muscular as his beard.
two black men, the one in the green hat, i’d say he’s less good looking than his buddy, likes nikki. nikki has a belly. she has large breasts and thick ankles. the black dude doesn’t care that she has a belly. he has fucked many like nikki. he likes them
better than thin women. they make him feel loved. he’s more aware of stature
when he’s with a skinny blond woman. he doesn’t like to be noticed, by whites especially. his buddy with red hair and a moustache is with jenny, a native american woman. she goes to a clinic for addicts. she smokes heroin. she spends time with white
teenage addicts. the nurse there lives at granada apts where i live. jenny punches the nurse’s breasts black yellow and purple when they make love. jenny has two children she gave to a white and an asian woman. she didn’t want them to be raised by her grandparents. the black dudes call me bruh. i don’t know their names. i’m not one to remember names. i remember faces. the one in the green hat has a broad nose and the one in the red hat has a thin nose. i nod my head when i see them. the native american woman used to stay at my place now and then. her mother died and she flipped. she gave a thousan dollars to online charities. she didn’t like her mother. she’s happy that she’s dead. she can’t contain the guilt she has because of it. she loves her friends more than her relatives. she has no friends. she hates her stepfather more than her mother for hurting her brother. she doesn’t know how she maintains herself. she looks to the city park for solace. her coworkers think she’s bitter and hates them. she doesn’t not like them. in general she wishes no one ill. she hates herself for not having killed her stepfather. she likes this tall skinny boy who wants to be a skinny girl. he dyes his hair so black that he looks like he’s wearing a wig. he makes sudden movements that make his hair look even more fake because it doesn’t really move. don’t think what i’m thinking, he said. i can tell you are thinking about what’s in my head. you shouldn’t live in your head. your sign is fire. your mind needs to be in your gut. i’m going to think for you. you don’t need to think anymore. you only need to respond. you’re right, jenny said. i analyze everything. i see a counselor. he’s a linear thinker. he thinks how to get from point a to point b. you’re fire, he said. what does fire do? what does fire do?, jenny said. it hurts. what else he said. it burns, she said. what else, he said. it stimulates, jenny said. don’t cover up your body with your arms, he said. don’t shield it. leave it open. what am i thinking? i don’t know, jenny said. good, he said. i have to pee. where are you going?, jenny said. to the bathroom he said. can i come with you, jenny said. why, he, said. i don’t know, jenny said. do you like to watch me pee, he said. i don’t want to be alone, jenny said. jenny followed her colleague from work past two aquariums, one of the tanks was half-lit and had one fish in it, a smoking young man in blue under wear and a grey t-shirt, a woman with stage four cancer scared to die alone in poverty, a veterans hospital, a nursing school, and two koreans getting into a vehicle to the attic. they went into a room with a small bed and a leopard print bed sheet. take off your clothes, she said. she also took off her clothes. get into the bed, she said. hold me, she said. turn around, she said. jenny turned around. she stuck her finger in her asshole. now get on top of me, she said. she inserted her penis into jenny’s vagina. i don’t have my cell phone, jenny said. is it an iphone, she said. i think so, jenny said. does it have a small black button, she said. it doesn’t, jenny said. it’s not an iphone. i thought i had an iphone. i have a contract with sprint. i have been using my phone everyday for everything i do and nothing has been happening to me or to anyone else. now that i don’t have my phone i feel like i can breathe. do you like my breasts, he said. yeah, jenny said. you can suck on them. i want my children, jenny said. they are living with a lesbian couple. they send them to a private school. they don’t sound like my children anymore. they sound like their teachers and classmates. they speak in code. it will serve them later in life. i believe in reincarnation. i do also, she said. i came back as a black jesus socialist democrat, jenny said.